I made a big mistake.

Probably one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made.

And that's really saying something, because I've made a lot of mistakes before.

It wasn't something that I had originally set out to do.

When I made the promises that I made, I really meant them.

I wasn't thinking that I was going to break them.

When I made those promises, I wasn't lying.

I really meant to try.

I really meant to do well.

I really meant to succeed and make my family proud.

But then things happened.

Words were said.

I was already angry, I'll admit.

But after those words were said, and those things were done...

I was furious.

And I messed up.

I had a choice and I made the wrong one.

I threw away a lot.

Time.

Money.

Opportunities.

Relationships.

Some weren't even my relationships to throw away.

And maybe I threw away the only opportunity I had to live a really good life, one without the worries and fears of being homeless, jobless, whatever.

This blog...these words...it's my attempt to explain myself.